The Complete Guide to Manipulation by Me

The Complete Guide to Manipulation by Me | Pro Club Bd

Are you an unscrupulous company trying to sell me products I don’t need?

A friend who would like me to be a Patreon supporter for your Minions fanfiction?

An overzealous boss who’d happily work me like a pack mule for the lowest wage I’ll accept?

This guide is for you.

I know what you’re thinking: manipulating me seems daunting. I’m a grown man with a skeptical nature, a college degree and a lot of life experience.

But as you’ll soon learn, it’s all just a front.

Beneath my grown-up exterior is a fragile ego that wants you to applaud my joke and a confused inner child that doesn’t know how to pronounce “hors d’oeuvres” or how many mini shrimp spring rolls to eat, without drawing contempt.

The Complete Guide to Manipulating Me is your one stop shop for using my mistakes to your advantage.

Here are just some of the things you will learn:

  • How to turn my feigned interest in you at a party into a “yes” to your comedy show, art show, or podcast release.
  • Three sneaky ways you can reference my dropped out of college in a text message that will make me want to house-sitter for you in an instant.
  • Ten classic works of literature I’ve never read and how to allude to them to make me back down in any debate. (Hint: one of these is the Bible.)
  • How to bribe me with a $10 plate of nachos to give up my evening plans and personal health standards and go crazy all night with you.
  • A simple trick to pry open the back door of my psyche, embarrass me for being monolingual and make me buy you lunch at every pho joint while fumbling with chopsticks.

The Complete Guide to Manipulating Me also includes All My Insecurities, a three hundred and fifty page e-book that describes classic pain points such as:

  • I am far too many years past grad school to be lacking in a single overarching goal in my life.
  • I’ve read over a hundred self-help books, but I still can’t get up before 9am AM or doing anything productive in the morning other than reading self-help books.
  • Because of my lanky, awkward build, zero percent of the clothes I buy off the rack fit me, and it makes me feel like I’m not made in God’s image.
  • I tried to make friends with my attractive neighbor, but then her dog bit me, we never spoke again, and I’ll probably die alone.

All that plus 6,583 other uncertainties!

It would take you Years to experience them all in conversation. But now you can use them against me instantly. Just think how many online self-improvement courses you could sell me, or CBD oil multi-level marketing parties you could make me attend against my will!

Whatever your intentions, locking me into your personal psychic pyramid scheme is tough never been easier.

BONUS: When you buy today, you’ll receive “One Hundred Negroes That Will Totally Destroy Me,” a list of proven dubious compliments such as:

  • “Your improv show was so much fun! It must take a lot of courage to deliver a monologue by an Irish sea captain that lasts longer than three minutes without getting a laugh.”
  • “Wow, you’re a writer who has never written a book? bold and unorthodox.”
  • “I enjoyed this comedy article that made people identify with you. What is it like telling jokes on the internet for a living?”
  • “You have to be so independent and emotionally tough to live alone for so long.”

Drop those barbs and watch me fight like a stray dog ​​for your approval! Just look at what readers are saying:

“A stroke of luck. With just a cursory glance, I was able to use Alex’s dissatisfaction with his body image and obsession with spending money to cheat death to sell him two hundred dollars worth of high-quality protein powders. Run, don’t walk, to the nearest bookstore.” —Glenn R., Total Protein Amazon Associate

“Really good. I mean, there’s some crazy stuff in here, but bottom line? These strategies work.” —Meredith, Hinge

“I was concerned that the guide would not be comprehensive, but after studying the 40-page chapter, ‘I think I’m so smart, but I don’t know what the stock market is’, I can assure you that it is very comprehensive is, indeed.” —Jamie P., online cryptocurrency advertiser


The Complete Guide to Manipulating Me retails for only forty-seven dollars. However, if you tell me you like my shoes and ask me “where I get my writing ideas from,” I’ll likely buy you drinks all night and give you the guide for free. ♦

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